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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

安眠藥

2007-12-20 09:30
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

我的第一次也是最后一次

2007-12-19 10:28
When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.

不公平

2007-12-18 10:46
A: Mr.Brown died yesterday, are you going to attend his funeral?
B: No, of course not!

2007-12-17 09:22
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.

又遲到了

2007-12-14 09:20
Teacher: Why are you late for school every morning?Tom: Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".

從失敗中學習

2007-12-13 09:04
"I'm beginning to understand exactly how the state lottery helps education,"a man told his neighbor. "Every time I buy a losing ticket, I get a little smarter!"

會說話的鐘

2007-12-12 15:26
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

倫敦霧

2007-12-11 15:19
It was a very foggy day in London. The fog was so thick that it was impossible to see more than a foot or so. Buses, cars and taxis were not able to run and were standing by the side of the road. People were trying to find their way about on foot but were losing their way in the fog.

比一下其他？

2007-12-10 10:43
Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon's name signed.
Mom: You just care about this? Haven't you compared other things?
Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.

我老婆的照片

2007-12-07 09:07
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.

終身保修

2007-12-06 16:11
After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted.

可是老師哭了

2007-12-05 16:19
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

天堂棒球賽

2007-12-04 10:09
There were two friends who were both big fans of American baseball their entire lives. They always talked and would discuss anything that concerned baseball. They went to every baseball game possible, year-round, and they said to each other that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in Heaven.

同舟共濟

2007-12-03 11:42
Three men were sitting on a bench in the park. The middle one was reading a newspaper, and the others were pretending to fish.

丟失的錢包

2007-11-30 16:03
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.

理所當然

2007-11-29 15:46
The school health forms had been distributed to the students with an error---the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o".

蛇兒子

2007-11-28 09:00
A father and son snake is out for a nice afternoon slither.

上帝的小孩

2007-11-27 09:16
A preschooler asked his mother, "Mom, tomorrow our teacher is going to ask who my father is. What should I say?" The mother said, "Just tell her that God is your father!"

我沒有在聽

2007-11-26 11:04
Mother asked her little daughter who was reading a book. "What are you reading, dear?"

父親在哪兒？

2007-11-22 09:33
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

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